Dear Subscribers,  Fans, Followers, and Friends,
I’d like to start with a thank you. I have been through a lot from the end of last year to now. I thought life was getting better cause I thought I was in love and it was mutual but…
oh well! I was very intolerable at times but its not all on me! I was very honest! I’ll share more later. I will be presenting a new show later on next year.
I have some statements and requests from fans, followers, and subscribers.
 First off: Subscribers, fans, and followers, A Lot of you call all hours of the day and night. Which is not cool. I work 3 different jobs and in one of them www.miskitunation.org I wear a lot of hats from the end of last year till now my godsister and treasurer of the foundation Lily died, I Didn’t get to grieve for her, because I had to pick up the slack to not lose the foundation or my mom.
 We also lost in a matter of 2 months apart beautiful assistant at the foundation, handyman, and cohost Fatim of www.cookingwithcleavage.com. I haven’t grieved him either because I had to wear his hat now.
I work my massage and BDSM plus driving deliveries and I do in-home care to earn money to keep a roof over my head and get the foundation, and tools for the people it helps!
The photos and videos I provide as an incentive to go to my loyal fans page and check it out, buy or subscribe even follow come at a cost! You all keep asking for free pics… Come on!
www.CookingwithCleavage.comwww.Ckiaranation.com all come from mainly me including, directing production editing, and distribution.
I must leave my phone and WhatsApp messenger on because the help I do get comes from sources outside the USA and is more economical because I get no help! www.Ckiaranation.com I have admirers who make promises they have no intention of keeping.

They just want something for nothing or just want to collect hearts!
Or many unsolicited Dick pics. I am not displaying my genitals. Please don’t display yours unless asked to!
I have a handful of real friends on Facebook who I can say what I mean and they don’t turn into my bitter enemy because they don’t hold back either
and sometimes what they say is the truth, like when I was told I was drunk and to quit and finally, it sank and I stopped drinking. Then after I made that change my son who had been missing
and stolen, kept for me, who I fought and lost for, searched for me, and found me! 8 to 20 years old I missed things I’ll never get back
but I’m not bitter about it.

We all have a story to tell and it’s not about quantifying the suffering but releasing it from our beings so that others don’t feel so alone in their pain!
I know sometimes reading about others’ struggles and troubles have left me grateful for my life.
Sometimes seeing a pretty picture or the sheer arousal of sexiness in itself can be just enough! No orgasm needed but then there are some of you ungroomed MFS that wanna just pull it out and take a picture than have the nerve to share it!
Please if you gotta do that at least comb and barber the shit Jeez( 😈)!
I got beat up when delivering last month. Nobody knew, I continued producing, then got home and took selfies and stored them inside. luckily (if that is the only purpose he served) There was someone who
I like to call Hercules and I thought we loved one another there to talk naughty and make me laugh online. He made it better but he didn’t hear what I had told him or ignored it. but I took whatever he gave. that’s on me!
He only communicated with me about lust and so-called “love” yet actions speak louder than words and though I know patience is not my virtue. I do what i say I’m going to do!
Today I ended the thing on the day we were supposed to spend two glorious days just fucking. Why? Because I got fed up! I asked if he would break my heart by not coming for the third time and he acted as though
something had happened to me! Then tells me to hold on but I couldn’t anymore! All week long he had been not saying I love you and barely talking to me brushing me off, that’s worse than just saying,
hey I don’t like you anymore, and being done with it! Nope, I had to be made to feel like I was begging. I don’t beg!
I don’t play mind games with people because I have empathy and respect and love for others.
something about being impeccable with my words. I try not to take things personally most of the time. I succeed but when one can’t or won’t or doesn’t have the valor to tell someone your truth and instead you manipulate the outcome you want. That shit is deceitful.

Even if I would be paid to be an exclusive companion, the fact that I would move in with a person, you’d need to get a feel for them to cause cohabitation is a whole other story from a few hours!
No amount of money can buy love! And love and life do not come stress-free
you can’t buy no stress, that’s a pipe dream. The only way a relationship poly amorous works is by communication at first to fit the pieces together so it works harmoniously between all parties and it’s not a free fuck for all!
It is mostly honesty, passion, lust, love, and desire. casual not so much! but it’s constant discussion till an agreement is made. I AM GUILTY OF NOT COMMUNICATING BECAUSE I RESTRICTED HIM AFTER I HAD MY SAY FROM HIM HAVING HIS SAY! I regret that but what’s done is done. I believe he had not the courage to just end things so he pushed buttons all week and manipulated that outcome!

Check this out all these people calling themselves poly (word-forming element meaning “many, much, multi-, one or more,” from Greek polys “much” (plural polloi), from PIE root *pele- (1) “to fill,” with derivatives referring to multitudinousness or abundance. Equivalent to Latin multi-, it is properly used in compounds only with words of Greek origin.). What is the root word of amorous?
(Etymology. From Middle English amorous, amorous (14th century), from Old French amoros, amoreus, from Medieval Latin amōrōsus, from Latin amor (“love”), related to amāre (“to love”). Compare French amoureux (“in love”). amorous, exciting love)

I’M KIND OF NUMB!
I wish I knew how to cry, but my real friends can tell you I don’t cry . But I want to so fucking bad but then when I feel it my conditioning to swallow and bury my feelings and forge ahead just stops everything! Everyone that knows me knows I’m 80percent fun games and jokes but don’t get on my 20 %. I even dislike myself then because I am a bit too fucking much! But I hold no grudges and it only lasts a day, hours, or minutes depending on the situation!

My heart feels like it’s being twisted. Then I’m numb!